Why you shouldn’t marry your high school sweet heart, and if you do, get a divorce.

If you stick to the title advice, I’d say about 85% of the time you’d be making the right decision. Why? It’s simple. To grow, the single most important thing we need is change. Everyone needs to learn how to move on after a break-up or tough times, how to pick up the pieces and start something new. It’s the single most important life skill there is.

People talk about change all the time. Change is good, change is this, change is that. But can you dig it? Can you deal with it? Do you like it? Should you like it? Yes, if you want to live a more fulfilling life. It comes down to having an open mind. If you let it in, change will enrich your life by bringing in waves of new experiences and adventures, be it meeting a new person, traveling Mexico solo, writing a book, starting a business, volunteering overseas, or deciding to hang-glide from a mountain peak down to the beach in Rio. New experiences lead to new thoughts, new perspectives, new awareness and a new appreciation for your world and everyone in it. The more experiences you have, the further you can zoom away from Earth, seeing your world with a greater clarity than your day-to-day beer goggles.

Think. What are some of the hardest things you’ve done in your life?

graduated university
lost a loved one
trained uber hard for your favorite sport
asked someone out
cliff jumped
apologized
been in financial trouble
(insert yours here)

The most difficult things usually involve a change and a decision. Sometimes the decision is to instigate the change and sometimes it’s how to react to it.

Why Change?

Kick the Stress
This is the reaction part, your decision. Get used to welcoming change and all of a sudden things get easier. Going with the flow reduces 80% of your stress, and switching things up will make your life bucket loads more exciting. Before you know it, you’ll be excited to change things up. Make a list of things you want to do, and start crossing them off with cool people you love to be around.

Time Travel
I was talking with my good friend, who I travelled SE Asia with, the other night and I thought of it this way: what if I could jump ahead in time and get to the point where I’m smarter, more aware and more experienced. More specifically, how can I speed that up? Here’s how:

Decision A: Work the same job, date the same person, and hang out with the same group of friends for 2 years without a thought of meeting new people.

Decision B: Make a disruptive change – go abroad to travel or work, get in crazy good shape, try something you NEVER thought you’d do.

Does Decision A seem exaggerated? It happens more than you think, and I see it all the time. Hands down, decision B will catapult you to a heightened sense of being. You’ll know more about yourself, about the world around you and you’ll feel empowered, putting yourself light years ahead of someone who continued to do more of the same. You don’t need to live longer, you just need to live smarter.

Be Useful
Getting your change on makes you a more useful human being. If things go funky, you can roll with it. If things get tough you can handle it; If things get too easy, you’re down to switch things up. Not letting change negatively control you makes easier to be around and way more fun. Change makes you more aware of the world and yourself, giving you insight into work, into others, and into yourself.

Getting too comfortable?
Check yourself. One of my friends described it something like this: “I knew it was time for a change, because I was just getting too comfortable; with my life, with everything.” He ran off to Korea for a year, and came back a new man, a wiser man. I’m not telling you to run half way around the world, but seriously, think about doing something majorly different. Shake things up a little and see where life takes you. If you regret anything, regret something you did, not something you wish you did.

So, why would breaking up with or divorcing your high school sweet heart only be a good choice 85% of the time? Because some people already know how to change, welcome it, and seek it, opening their lives and the lives of those around them to amazing new experiences that would otherwise go unexperienced. Find those people and hold on tight!

Peace, get weird, go wild.

7 comments
RhondasSongs
RhondasSongs

Thought you might be interested in what Reid Hoffman has to say ... you might have read this already though.

http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2012/01/24/reid-hoffman-linkedin-startup-you/

I hadn't read this when I said I was sorry to hear you were losing so many friends to San Francisco. Twitter needs talented engineers... I read somewhere that their need is near desperate as many of their original engineers are good but not inspired and they're in danger of losing their edge through complacency.

It's a Titan war in cyber-space and Google's flexing it's muscles.... getting ready to rumble.

'Peace, get weird, go wild.'

Doug Brown
Doug Brown

The thing about change is that it will force itself on you whether you want it or not. The people who remain the same in the face of it are fighting to do so. It makes more sense to let it take you where it will. I see a lot of myself in your post Robin. Growth never comes about by remaining still....you have to work your life, like a muscle, if you want to develop. Great post.

mkamendes
mkamendes

I'm planning on getting my change on in the next little bit @robncampbell . This, not only for its sarcastic humor, is a very good place to start thinking.

robincampbell
robincampbell moderator

@Doug Brown Great to hear from you Doug. I think you're right on about letting change take you. It seems like there's two sides depending on the situation: either not fighting the flow or jump-starting that flow yourself when things are stagnant.

Speaking of change, yesterday we announced that Summify is joining the flock at Twitter - http://smf.is/8zmXl. They were only interested in scooping up the engineers, so it's time to flex some life muscle and find a new adventure!

robincampbell
robincampbell moderator

@mkamendes Sorry for my lateness! Been visiting fam for the last week and plotting my 2012 changes at the same time. Never lose the sarcastic humour, and I'm excited to hear about your soon-to-be Brasil adventure!

robincampbell
robincampbell moderator

@Doug Brown P.S. if you're looking for a meaningless ego-boost of extra followers on Twitter, just announce that Twitter is swallowing your company haha.

Doug Brown
Doug Brown

I finally got over meaningless ego boosting last week. But thanks for the tip!

Copyright © Robin Campbell 2014